GUITARIST EDDIE BENITEZ
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Saturday, September 5, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
New Orleans, "The Big Easy"
Cherry blossoms, jasmine and clover, the scent of honeysuckle as thick as the humidity that lingers throughout the day. These are fragrances that I have become familiar with. The pungent smell of gladiolas, and the beauty of a crape myrtle tree. Some stretching from the Forburg Marigny to parts of Gentilly. Uptown Garden District, streets lined with Magnolia trees. This is home to me.
Rain pouring down from the heavens as though this earth could absorb it all. The sound on the roof top, then sliding down the gutters through the pipes. The sound of huge splashes against the bedroom window. Flashes of lightening and the sound of thunder so loud it shakes my soul, a quiet stillness. Afraid to move between the rooms of the house for fear of somehow being struck. This is home for me.
No matter where I may travel, no matter how long I'm away, my mind always returns to this place, this sense of self. My childhood, my not so arkward teenage years, my maturity. Home is always here for me.
Though I long to travel to distant lands and love to meet all sorts of people, I have to return here. Once it was lost to me and it took a long time to get back to where it was. Scattered to the four winds, family, friends, people I will remember for an eternity. Yes, Katrina brought with her the means to separate us all for a time. Still we came back ever so gradually, we have returned simply because this is now, and forever will be home to us.
The sound of live jazz performances held at Snug Harbor Bistro on Frenchmen Street or Sweet Lorrain's Jazz supper club on St. Claude Avenue. The smell of fresh fish and boil crawfish from St. Roch's Market. Meeting friends at Congo Square and walking to the French Quarters to Cafe Du Monde to grab a cup of relief and those world famous beignets, those always warm pillows of sugary perfection. This is home personified.
A refuge I have made of it. Although, soon to leave it again, in search of something or someone to share it with. Hoping that they will see what I see, while sitting on a bench at Lake Pontchartrain; watching the waves beat against the barrier steps, the tide rushing in and out. People wading through its cool waters. Fisherman eager to catch whatever the lake will allow. Boats racing to and fro. The sun as it sets with its inviting colors of calm euphoria, reddish-orange into blue-gray black night upon it's setting. The sounds of the animals in the distance from Audubon Zoo, it's feeding time. The sounds of the St. Charles street car as the wheels screech along the tracks. The paddle boats as they go up and down "The Big Muddy"
The constancy of faith, the hope for the future, the sweet appearance of youth. I am truly home.
Question: Do You Know What It Means To Miss New Orleans?
Currently listening:The Definitive CollectionBy Louis ArmstrongRelease date: 2006-01-24
Freedom to Love Again
Why is it when I say I'm done and can't take anymore, there you are? Is there some kind of cosmic filtering streaming from my heart to your brain that makes you appear before me? Why can't this inevitability be altered. When I'm at my best, there you are "acting out", as if to say you really care. Why do our paths have to cross? Are we that familiar with each others weaknesses.
I need to maintain this new found freedom I've accompolished. I don't need to wander endlessly into oblivion, just because you say so! Calm resolve is what I seek..the freedom from want or desire of what use to be a so called "perfect life". Isn't it funny to even say that out loud? Neither of us being perfect. I want to shout as loudly as I can. Stop the madness, no more...It's truly time to move on and be content with the me that I have become.
No longer shaken by thoughts of pleasing anyone else's needs but my own. This feeling of greatnest...shall I shout louder...."freedom" "Sweet unincumbered freedom" I've become a phoenix, that mythological bird who rises from the ashes every five hundred years. To accomplish my dreams and my desires, to fulfill my expectations and care less for those of others, who would see me stagnant with no way out. Dependant only on them; and what they want to give when it suits their disposition.
"Freedom....pure and simple...to face all my challenges, without fear, willing to take chances, barring the constant mistrust of the male species. Yes, I am a simple woman with simple needs..uhmm...capable of making my own decisions, mistakes and when warranted my choices of who, how and when to love. For me life is good!
Currently reading:Addicted To Counterfeit LoveBy Vikki
Currently reading:Addicted To Counterfeit LoveBy Vikki
Dreams of Oppa
(Gong Ji Cheol)
As I look through the myriad of photos of you, thinking to myself, how beautiful you are.That boyish smile you emit to all your adoring fans, of which I am included. Fantasy takes hold, wondering aimlessly to myself what if?
I know that I'm not alone in my thoughts of you, so many of us, particularly those of the female species are so enamored, shaken, and soul stirred frantically with fervent expectations of, If only?
I must admit, my dreams have become somewhat climactic. In essence , what I would dare to do if ever the opportunity were to present itself, when will this be? Would I stand before you speachless? Afraid to look into those beautiful dark pools of yours. Often needing to know what's behind that sometimes mischievous grin. Knowing that this fallacy will end abruptly, I begin to calm myself, and think of you just as all of your adorning fans do. Unattainable, maybe not?
Who knows the possibilities are endless! Why not?
Currently listening:Only You By: Harry Connick Jr. Release date: 2004-02-03
Currently listening:Only You By: Harry Connick Jr. Release date: 2004-02-03
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
A Love Remembered - *(My Soul Cries Out)*
I am taken back in time to a place of sublime contentment. An oasis surrounded by stoic palms bearing succulent dates, the taste of pomegranates, crimson stained lips soft and smooth to the touch, the aroma of jasmine and myrrh. The sound of the wind and the feel of cool breezes and rippling water falls. Suspended in time never wanting to abandon this gift of freedom. Simply wanting to be forever lost in your arms. Rendered defenseless, weakened by your touch, the warmth of your breath covers me as though caressing my very being. Sweet love remembered.♥
Umm….the sweet scent of sandalwood lingers as my soul soars higher. Reaching for you through the darkness; finding each other to share slow warm kisses evoking emotions that inflame. Stealing each others breath, exchanging the sweet taste from your mouth, and the taste of the fruit you have consumed. Heart beating eractically, pulse racing ever so rapidly. No time to ponder the outcome, wanting this moment to last indefinitely. The mere touch of your hand stroking my thighs, a pleasure zone of miraculous delight and I am transported to paradise. Lost and yet aware at the same time. Afraid that the sheer want of you may somehow diminish my need for you. Surrendering myself completely, clinging to that which would free me once more…..Umm… Oh yes… this was love remembered, may I forever remember love♥
Melodic Tones That Inspire *(For Will D. “Prince of Sophisticated Soul”)*
So often I hear that sultry, distinct sound as if moaning when you sing, as if directly to me. How many times I’ve drifted soberly into constant euphoria, calm, and so peaceful. I hear your voice and somehow I feel lifted. I feel loved and highly favored. I feel so blessed, knowing that at the end of a long relenting, stressful day, you’re there. That distinct tone that makes me forget from one moment to the next whatever it was that caused the chaos in my life. Velvet, smooth, deep, sensual tones that make me want to do things I never thought I could; barring all reservations. Breathless, is how you leave me with every solemn note I hear. I feel free and uninhibited. I pray that your spirit remains uncompromised, hmm....the way you make me feel. That melodic tone which you alone exude inspires, acknowledging every verse. The man who says he can satisfy, what more could any women want. In my fantasy we are spending time...just vibing to every jazzy note. A rythmic flow of sheer and total bliss. Umm…I can’t wait until our next encounter. Sweet spices, warm wine, and you. That monotone voice that inspires, can there truly be a million ways? Oh yeah…..I look forward to our next encounter and all those melodic tones that inspire.
In That Mood *(Music to Vibe To)*
Smooth jazz playing “Pieces Of A Dream”, the title (In that Mood) - this cut is hot! My mind drifts soulfully, carefree, taking me away mentally and spiritually to a place of total serenity.Notes played from the tenor sax; and the synthesizer moves me. Each key played on the piano; delivers an invitation to move to the rhythm. My soul is caught up, my mind wandering, calm before the storm.It’s funny how a piece of music can touch you inside, and move you to a point of action, deliberate and concise. Oh yeah…, umm…I really dig this joint! I just want to relax and make time to take time. Just forgoing all the madness prior to my journey to this moment, so surreal.Do you dare journey there with me? It’s no fun when you travel alone. Yeah, just listen…feel the vibe… can you feel me? That’s what I’m talking bout, just relax and let go. We just might arrive there together. I am in that mood, what about you?♥
Encounters Unforgotten *(Daydreaming)*
I am cautiously reminded of an encounter embarked upon, not intentionally, yet without hesitance. I remember the sound of your voice; smooth deep undertones of confidence; a tone of authority, distinct. I am remembering the subtle lines and curves of your chin as you spoke. The look in your eyes; such expression, the way you threw your head back while introducing yourself, and laughing unexpectedly with such vigor in your attempt to ask me to dance. It allowed me to see you maybe at this point; at your best, not camouflaged. I am reminded of the way you directed me, softly and oh so gently leading me onto the dance floor. A song, I haven’t heard in years, “Let’s Just Kiss and Say Goodbye” by the Manhattans; Ol school and very appropriate for the mood. The way you held me, that moment forever etched in my brain. For some reason this had to be an extended version. How far would I let this go? If by chance I dared to free myself, uninhibited, simply relax. How easy it would be? I hear your voice serenading me in that warm monotone breath of yours; gently exhaling, slowly engulfing me, literally taking me away to some exotic destination.
Waterfalls pouring into pools of crisp cool, clear blue streams. An oasis shaded by desert palms, how I want to linger there with you beside me. Most encounters are often times so brief and quickly forgotten. Never wanting this one to end, still it does, the music stops, as does the dance, your arms fall to your side as you escort me back the my seat. You bend to kiss my hand and thank me for the dance. I will always remember this encounter, enchanted by thoughts of what might have been, had I dared to reach out to you. This truly was an encounter not forgotten.
Girlfriends *(The Best Kind of Relationship)*
I have been blessed with two (2) mind you, they are my sistahs, my confidants’ my conscience, and when needed, my confessors.They are two uplifting, free spirits, true to their calling. Always encouraging, and yes when needed severely critical though not often. So am I especially with Sista Dee, whom I will love unconditionally forever even though she has caused more than a few gray strands in my head than I need, due to the choices she makes. Particularly in the area of male and female relationships. Sometimes you just have to step back and let it happen when it comes to her. Still she’s my girl, and more times that I can recount, has always had my back. Ms. Emma is my rock, sensible, self assured, steadfast, confident. She is always there to consult, challenge me, and to uplift me spiritually. Both have seen me at my best, and always nudge me towards excellence. They have seen me at my worst, and stayed by my side through a multitude of trials. A marriage that ended abruptly, rearing of children and expectations and births of grandchildren, (all before their time).I have been truly blessed by God to have two such friends in my life. We travel together, talk on the phone more frequently than what is normal. Even miles could not sever our love for each other. Once we all lived here in the “Big Easy” but due to Katrina we all had to go our separate ways. Atlanta, Little Rock and Mobile.We still share our horror stories about dates gone bad, Gold tooth men who stalk, weak lines to get you interested, and yes, the one you hope will be as good to you as he looks. Yet never depending on anyone to make us happy but ourselves.Yes the memories are still there, still intact, and the connection is constant and unstrained. I can’t wait until we get together again to hash out all of our experiences; joys, disappointments, and surprises.Yeah…I am honored to have two girlfriends that have been my strength, my towers in times of distress and peacemakers when warranted. No man can come between us; this we have proven time and time again for the past eighteen years. Girlfriends, need I say more!
Love for Loves Sake *(Exploring the Possibilities)*
I thought of you last night, as I do so often, wondering if it’s possible for one person to be so enveloped and overwhelmed by your mere presence. Solomon in his glory gave truth to all that is vanity; but bewildered and breathless is how you leave me. Hopelessly enamored with one singular desire; that you will join me here, on this plane of existence. So comely I am, a black girl, a mere saffron of the coastal plain. I beg that you do not arouse in me feelings that I have long forgot. Lest I relinguish my guard, and bid you enter. Pray that by mere touch I am taken away to that solitary oasis where crystal clear and cool waters flow. Palm trees and sweet pomegranates, and the juiciest of full ripened dates are abundant. Yes, where warm desert winds are carried on copious breaths of longing. Will you join me here? To be loved, oh yes to make love, non restricted, complete, not only physically but intellectually stimulated by sheer thought. Umm…., could you surrender and be satisfied to share with me love for loves sake? Love that does not hasten, but lasts forever….two souls joined in complete unwavering passion. Oh yeah... just to love, just to be loved for loves sake!
For My Sisters
As I ponder on thoughts of want, I review over and over again that which has defined me. Love is a gift given freely, never restrained, unconditional, sometimes unrequited but never absent. This journey that is my life which is not yet complete, has lead me to a few wonderful realities. Questions that need to be answered. This being said, I feel the need to share them with my sisters, be you young, middle age, or adorably regal in maturity.
As women , each of us want to belong to someone, yet in that search for belonging do we somehow lose sense of self? I have struggled with this conundrum for many years. Do we create from fantasy our ideal counterpart from nothing? Make Mr. Wrong, Mr. Right! Deferring all of his shortcomings to “Oh he’ll get better in time” knowing deep within the recesses of our heart this will never happen. Have we forgotten that God has given us free will in all things, including our search for that if not be it perfect mate? Have we forgotten that He loved us first, and in doing so he has truly freed us from the occasional need for the more physical presence in our lives?
In truth my sisters, do we compromise or lower our standards which were originally initiated by God to protect us, and keep us safe? Do we suffer periods of disrespect, verbal, physical and mental abuse just to say we have a man? Are we not worth more? Do we not deserve more? Especially when we know that we are all queens no matter what shade, what culture, what religious background or economic status. I am reminded of the Psalm of David, giving thanks to God, humbly acknowledging His attributes “ in a fear inspiring way , how wonderfully I am made” this attest to His love for us. Do we not deserve this kind of love? He says we are worthy, shouldn’t we believe that we are? No one person can complete us, this has been done successfully by God. Who can match it? What mortal man can challenge him?So to my sisters, take these thoughts to heart Love God first, Love self than when the season is right for it Love the one who up builds, supports, and humbles himself before you. Wait on Jehovah God.
I Still Remember *(Lost Love)*
I’ve been lost in thought as of late, remembering all those things that made you special to me. The way you use to gently place your hand in the lower part of my back, leading me through crowded rooms and restaurants.I still smell the fragrance of sandalwood, it clouds the recesses of my mind, a scent that has lingered even now on the pillow where you once laid your head. Thoughts of long, slow kisses remain. I still remember the touch of your hand as it reached for me through the darkness.The sound of your voice, your deep warm breath on my shoulder inhaling and exhaling. I still remember the intimacy which we shared; constant, lingering, and complete.Some memories, like water soaked print from a newspaper left in the rain, fade away. Just like the sun brings on new beginnings and promises for a new day. I take these memories of you and spread across the bed we once shared, and lie there completely covered by your warmth, remembering you, remembering love, and what cost it paid though loss.Often times I speak your name, and wonder where you are, and what you are doing at this very moment. And as difficult as it use to be, time has passed, I have moved forward, and so have you, yet I still remember a love once so true.
Oasis A Sanctuary for Lovers
I’ve always wanted to be this for you, a place to rest and a haven of desirable retreat. So long have I been captivated by your presence, the sheer thought of our joining one to the other motivates me without hesitance. To quench that thirst which only you can satisfy. I feel the cool breezes from the desert winds as night falls, moonlight glistening on the water the sound of the waves as the wind rushes over it. Lying there with you beside me. Enthralled by your touch, the fragrant odor of your body, sweet myrrh with a hint of frankensence. The beat of your heart racing ever so rapidly as I lay my head upon your chest. Your arms envelope me with a grip that is unshakable, not wanting you to let go.
Yes, a place of refuge is what I wish to be for you. When the mundane becomes to frequent, and the chaos seems unrelenting. An oasis I will be; a place to forget, to unwind, relax and just be. Ripened figs, succulent dates, and the juiciest of pomegranates, sweet wine made from golden honey and the grapes of Lebanon. The taste that lingers on your lips. Gentle kisses entice me; the warmth of my body, the touch of my skin against yours, hmm…capricious, yes this is how you make me feel the mood is struck, I can no longer deny that which is to follow. Oh yeah…we are reaching that plateau of exquisite delight. If I were a Genie in a Bottle, what would you command me to do, the possibilities are infinite.
Desert winds compose a melody that plays ever so softly here among the palms, can you hear the sound of my heart? Locked solidly in your gaze, greenish-gray pools of passion, reading every movement. Speaking without words, mere words alone can’t explain the raging within my soul, the delight and the pleasure of this night, Oh my dear and best beloved, can we remain here for all time? To dwell here at this moment and many moments to come. To belong to each other, I am forever your Oasis, should you desire rest.
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